Tell Me this Won’t Go on Much Longer


Ugh!, Ugh!, Ugh!

That is my thought of frustration as I referee another fight between Juliana and Jessa.

Hands down! Feet down! and No touch, Sissy!” are spoken countless times a day in our house right now. We are all anxiously waiting for this phase to pass.

Technically, they’re not really fights. Juliana seems to be on a mission to “Get Jessa.” At any given opportunity, she can scarcely resist a tug of Jessa’s ponytail or if her hands are occupied, a swift kick to any body part she can reach. Once, she almost knocked herself down attempting to kick Jessa with her leg. I’m laughing as I think about it, but when it’s happening it’s not that funny.

It seems that this mission started the moment that Jessa came home from the hospital. In Juliana’s mind, I’m sure she suddenly felt there was someone taking away all the attention she was getting from mommy and daddy. Then, we progressed some and the grabbing seemed to level off. Juliana seemed much too occupied with school and therapy to be worried about attacking her sister.

Then, boom! School gets out this May and summer hits. She has sailed into attack mode with a new vengeance and energy. I guess with the loss of a full school morning, she wants to intently focus her attention somewhere and Jessa seems to be the object of choice. And the mood seems to strike everywhere; the pet store, the library and even while watching the 4th of July parade! We have very few pictures of the girls together because we have to keep them apart or distracted to keep some peace.

Sometimes, I’ll see Juliana giving Jessa a look that says “Why are you still living here?” Then today, I had an Aha moment. During a morning drop-off at therapy, Juliana hauled off and tried to swipe the glasses off one of her classmates. This was because the therapist and I had directed our attention to him. That showed me that she is not interested in having ANYONE take attention away from her. Jessa takes our attention away so she lashes out in protest.

“Hands down! Feet down! and No touch, Sissy!” are spoken countless times a day in our house right now. We are all anxiously waiting for this phase to pass. Jessa has developed her own coping mechanism. When Juliana is reaching out for a grab, she lets out a loud shriek and takes off running. I holler “Go, Jessa, Go!” and she is so tickled that she forgets that Sissy is “after” her. This gives us all a laugh and relieves a little tension from a stressful situation. Friends tells us this will pass and I keep asking myself when?

I know there are many of you out there who can relate. Special needs parent or not, if you have gone through this phase with your kids and have words of encouragement, I’d love to hear your story in a comment below. Siblings are welcome to jump in too. If you or your brothers and sisters had it out for each other how did your parents get you to a truce?

Please share because I need validation that this is a phase that will soon come to pass.

 

Comments

  1. Anonymous
    • July 12, 2014
    • 1:31 am
    • Reply

    I havent seen a kid ages 2-4 that doesnt get like that with a younger sibling!!!! My mom said when she told me I was going to have a brother, at age three, I told her I wanted to hang him on a fence!!!! JESSA may get to where she has enough and retaliate!!! I hope this gets better. Maybe when school starts back Jul’s energy will re-focus off of Jessa!

    • Sabrina
      Sabrina
      • July 12, 2014
      • 9:04 pm
      • Reply

      Ha! So funny.

      Glad to know your brother didn’t get his wish to hang you on the fence. Jessa seems to have the patience of Job and it seems that she understands that Juliana isn’t really out to get her. She was fighting back but we are teaching her to simply get outta Sissy’s way. She seems to enjoying running and is making a good game of it.

      Thanks for the words of wisdom and for stopping in. I believe things will get better when school starts–3 weeks and counting

  2. Anonymous
    • July 11, 2014
    • 10:45 pm
    • Reply

    We really love this. We have been wondering how things are going and always have you in our prayers. Sure do miss you all!

    • Sabrina
      Sabrina
      • July 12, 2014
      • 9:08 pm
      • Reply

      Thank you for the compliment. We are hanging in there and appreciate all the prayers we can get. You signed in with an anonymous title so please let me know who you are; so glad you came by the blog.

  3. tjakaitis
    • July 11, 2014
    • 3:17 pm
    • Reply

    This is great Sabrina!

    • Sabrina
      Sabrina
      • July 11, 2014
      • 5:18 pm
      • Reply

      Thank you Tara,

      So great of you to stop by. I do hope you are doing well.

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